


No Windows

by atenaglory



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 12:38:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8102701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atenaglory/pseuds/atenaglory
Summary: Shepard starts visiting the Main Battery more often, but doesn't actually talk much. Garrus eventually wonders why.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been able to write much for a couple months I think, but recently I got hit with a bunch of ideas, plus there's one piece I've been saving so that I could edit it with a clear head, so! This is just kind of a warm up to get myself back up to speed with writing.

It must have been right around when Jack joined the Normandy team that Shepard’s presence in the Main Battery increased. Garrus had gone to the prison ship Purgatory with Shepard and Miranda to pick Jack up, and of course that mission had gone to hell. Nothing could be simple when Shepard was involved. Not that Garrus minded it—it was more fun that way. But he had been fairly distracted at the start of the mission. Until Shepard could get the resources for the Thanix Cannon, he had to figure out how to make the Normandy’s current gun _sing_ , and frankly that weighed on his mind more heavily than anything else. But that was just until Warden Kuril tried to trap Shepard on the Purgatory, forcing them to set all of the prisoners on the ship free, of course. It’s hard to fight a YMIR Mech if you’re still mentally trying to calibrate the big gun.

After that mission, the ship got a lot noisier. Miranda didn’t hesitate to express her displeasure about their new guest to Shepard (Garrus could never understand why Jacob and Miranda were always so quick to protest new team members—did they not realize that Shepard got the dossiers from The Illusive Man?), and Jack’s violent hatred toward Cerberus made sure that there was something new for her to cause a scene about every day. Shepard touched base with them regularly, trying to calm them down while slowly getting Jack acclimatized to life on the Normandy and being part of a team, but it seemed a little overwhelming, even for Shepard.

The first time Shepard visited the Main Battery after Jack joined the crew, she wearily said, “Hey Garrus.” He noticed her tone and demeanor and that she was clearly not in tip top shape, but he was deep in his work. He wanted to stop and hear her complaints, but he felt that the best way to help her was to make sure that her ship could stand up to the Collectors, and he needed to stay focused for now. The Thanix Cannon was the best option, but who knew if the enemy would wait around for them to find the resources to install it? So he responded with, “Hey, Shepard. I’m a little busy, do you mind coming back later?”

“Actually,” she started, the hesitation in her voice causing his hands to freeze over the control panel as he shifted his focus to her. “We don’t have to talk, but do you mind if I stay in here for a bit?”

He stared, trying to pause the calculations running through his head. He now noticed that she had several datapads in her arms. A few questions came to mind, but mostly he had now begun to really wonder if she was alright.

“Sure, Shepard. You can take a seat on….” He looked around his room. “That box…?”

“Thanks, Garrus.”

She stacked her datapads beside the crate he had pointed her to, then sat down on it, hoisting her legs up and crossing them. He noticed that she wasn’t dressed in her normal Normandy SR2 uniform, but in a much more comfortable-looking outfit. All black, but with the characteristic N7 emblem down the right side. She began reading the datapads silently, switiching regularly between them and her omnitool. She quickly became relaxed in her corner, and didn’t say anything else for about an hour. Then, she got up, gathered her things, thanked him again, and left.

These visits rapidly became regular. Sometimes Garrus would vaguely register a commotion on the other side of the door, and then Shepard would walk in with a pile of work in her arms and a look of annoyance on her face. Sometimes she would take snacks and watch vids, and sometimes she would be empty-handed and stare into space for a while before leaving again. It was after the Thanix Cannon was installed that it occurred to Garrus to ask her why she didn’t stay in her personal quarters, which had been designed for ultimate comfort.

“Two reasons,” she said, eyes still on the datapad that she was currently examining. “First, you know I have an open-door policy, right? I imagine you’ve noticed that part of the reason I come down here is to kinda get away from all of the _Normandy Problems_. All that Cerberus drama gets to be a little much. Plus, you have a comforting presence. I’m used to you, and just being near you helps me calm down and focus. It’s so easy to focus when I see you working so hard on the ship.”

Garrus got the feeling that someone else might be a little more embarrassed to say what Shepard had just casually announced, but she still hadn’t so much as glanced up from her work.

“You can always change your policy, Shepard, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal…. The second reason must be pretty big.”

“I’m… it’s...” Shepard rested the datapad against her stomach now, and her gaze falling to the ground. Garrus instinctively took a step towards her.

“This room has no windows,” Shepard said quietly.

Garrus opened his mouth to speak, but his words caught in his throat and his body froze. She looked so small there suddenly, sitting cross-legged on that crate in her loose human clothes. Shepard had always seemed huge to him, despite being much shorter than him. Turians were bigger than humans, that was just biology. But Shepard was, well, Shepard. She always commanded respect, and she always got things done. She was a giant to him. Behemoth.

But even Commander Shepard was no match for the great and endless void.

Her reappearance had been so plain and natural that it just seemed obvious. Everyone remembered their own feelings about Shepard’s death and had shared those with her without hesitation, but had anyone considered _Shepard’s_ feelings? Did she remember the details of her death?

Did she wake up at night and, unable to tear her eyes away from the skylight above her bed, gasp for air, thinking that she had lost her oxygen tanks again?

Did she purposely avoid looking out the windows of the shuttle on the way to a mission?

Did she carefully avoid low-gravity environments?

Garrus felt his eyes begin to sting. He took a deep breath, and then pulled another crate in front of her and sat down.

“And I thought _I_ was the reason you felt comfortable here,” he tried to joke.

She smiled sadly at him, but said, “Don’t flatter yourself too much. I _do_ like your company, but I….”

She sighed and shook her head.

“I didn’t mean to drop this on you, Garrus,” she said quietly, and began to gather her belongings. “Don’t worry about me.”

She sounded so tired.

Before she could stand up, Garrus took her things from her hands, placed them back on the floor, and then took her hands in his.

“Someone has to worry about you, Shepard.”

She froze, eyes wide and clear and trained on his.

“You can come here whenever you want, and stay for as long as you’d like,” Garrus said gently.

She relaxed, hands sliding out of his, and leaned back against the wall with a sigh.

“You know,” he said, clearing his throat. “It’s easier for me to focus when you’re here, too.”

She remained silent.

“You’re always reading those datapads with your fight-scowl on. Makes me feel like I’m not taking my job seriously enough.”

She snorted, and smiled up at him. Finally.

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Garrus.”

“I imagine you’d have put bullets through your fair share of datapads by now.”

“What makes you think I haven’t?”

“See, who needs Garrus when you’ve got that terrifying sense of humor?”

She laughed again, and stood up. Looking down at him, she said, “I’m taller than you from up here.”

That was cute. He laughed, too, and muttered, “Yeah, yeah, you’re still tiny.”

He stayed seated, though, and she made her way to the door.

“I’ll be back later,” she called over her shoulder.

“I’ll be waiting.”


End file.
